There's plenty to catch up on, dear readers, plenty. But first and foremost I would like to say that I just walked down to Popeye's Chicken and got me some chicken and mashed potatoes in South Central L.A. Aw yeah. If that's not hard core, I don't know what is. And I wish you could have heard the whooping and hollering of the passersby as I sash 'ed down the street. I passed one guy who was waiting for the bus and he kept muttering..."thighs...thighs...thighs..." I think he was trying to predict what kind of chicken I was going to order.
The other day another guy in a beat up and trashed old green pick-up truck pulled over as I was walking back to the convent. He asked if I needed a ride. I politely said "No thank you." And he said "Well... do you get high?" And I laughed and said."No...I don't get high, but thank you." Then he said "Well how bout you come with me and kick it. We'll get some good steaks and good drinks and go back to my room, ya heard me?" And I laughed again and said, "No thank you sir, I'm just going to go kick it at the convent." I didn't actually say that last part, but I should have.
Last weekend Hava picked me up from the convent and brought me over to his place in Hollywood. Going from hanging out with nuns to hanging out with the Studio8 boys is kind of overwhelming. These boys just don't have any boundaries to their humor and oftentimes they are perverted, but I've known them for ages, so its cool to hang out with them. They just signed a contract with a website called www.break.com and they are supposed to make funny short movies to put on the website. Break.com asked them to make a quick little movie about Superman being gay since the new Superman movie is coming out, but they only gave the guys liek three days to do it. So Hava and the guys had to bring in the big guns, myself, to help them pull off the task. They needed a Lois Lane and since I have a hot body and genius acting skills, they asked me to play the role of Superman's infamous love interest. Hava said it wasn't a big deal, that I would only have two lines. So I said, of course I would help them out.
I had about ten lines and I had to smoke cigarettes, grab Clark Kent's crotch and say the phrase "fags...who needs 'em." I should have known better with these guys. But I figured, "Hey...when in Hollywood...do as the Hollywood actors do... and grab some crotches!"
Contrary to popular belief, I am not a trained actress. Sure, I can get a few laughs on a Camp Champions stage, but acting in front of a camera...with lines...and having to be sexy... that's not my thing. At all. Acting is not as easy as I always make it look, I'll tell you that right now.
I spent Saturday afternoon watching Hava, Brock, Mikey and Sean shoot the Mykonos scene of their movie... Superman's Greek Island getaway with his gay pals, The Flash...Captain America... and Hava dressed in cut-off jean shorts dancing around serving them blue drinks in martini glasses. They shot this in their living room in front of a "green screen" (lime green colored felt tacked to the wall." So for about an hour or two I watched three guys dressed as gay superheros laugh and giggle as they drank fake martinis and clapped for Hava's sexy dancing. As I watched... I kept thinking to myself... "How in the world do I go from a convent in South Central singing "I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart" as the nuns and I are cooking dinner... to watching my old college friends make movies about gay superheros in their living room?" And that's what I love about my life.
We shot the little movie later on that night in downtown L.A. on a garage rooftop that overlooked the city. It was pretty bad ass. They had the lights out there... the big boom mike... I felt like a star. My performance as Lois Lane was mediocre at best... I just don't think I was convincing at all.... especially in the crotch grabbing part... I fake grabbed it, but still, I laughed a lot... and I felt like an idiot.... because its not like we're just making this for shits and giggles...we're making this for a website where millions of people can view it... and comment on it.
The comments. So yeah... the movie is on the world wide web. And it did not get good rating at all. But in our defense, we didn't expect it to... since it was basically shot and edited in a day. Its shitty. But I read through some of the comments... and the boys warned me that the people who comment on this stuff are just assholes... well...I glanced through and apparently someone out there in the world thinks that I made Lois Lane look ugly and Brock needs to lose some weight. Thank you America.
Oh the life of an actor...trying to be everything to everyone...
So that was last weekend.
On the fourth of July, Sr. Anna and I went to Hollywood to see what all the damn hype was about. Sr. Anna is a kick in the ass... she is 12 years older than me (which is pretty damn young compared to the other sisters) and we laugh a lot and get a long really well. I like her for many reasons, but especially because she curses and she has a tattoo. Anyway... so she and I hit up Hollywood Boulevard and walked down the sidewalks with the stars and the hand/foot prints, etc. I took pictures with Elvis, Michael Jackson and Superman...we saw the new Superman movie in the Chinese theatre (really good by the way...much better than the one we made:)...we ate sushi as we overlooked the Hollywood sign in the hills...then we went to a huge farmer's market where I got to eat an oyster po-boy yummmmmm. We finished off the day in Santa Monica on the boardwalk where we thought we would see a huge fireworks show...instead we just saw a huge sign that said "No fireworks show tonight"
Hoey Herzog was in town this week. he rented a convertible and drove down here to L.A. to do some surfing with Hava, visit with his friends who were in town for a convention and stay at the convent. Yesterday Hoey and I ate breakfast at the convent and went to Anaheim (where Disney Land is) to meet his friends at the Catholic convention. we hung out with them for a bit and them we hit the open road...top down on the convertible... Blink 182 blaring... sun beaming down on us....hair blowing in the breeze... the ultimate California life, I tell you. Our destination... Tijuana, Mexico. We drove along the coast the entire way...even if it meant going through neighborhoods. We ate lunch in Oceanside... drove through La Jolla - by the way - Laura- now I know why you would rather live in Sand Diego than San Fran...its is gorgeous! So whenever you want to move out here, I am SO down.... we stopped in Sand Diego to swim and body surf. The beach was crunk...hundreds of people out there...kegs on the beach...music going...everyone (except us) with a beer in their hand...it was like Spring Break... the kind you see on TV...not the kind you ever get to experience. We spent a few hours there and then we kept driving south until the United States of America ended. Then we parked our car and simply walked into Mexico. Just walked right it... it was so exciting and a little scary too... because we didn't know what to do once we got there. we took a cab to the main strip, Revolution Street, which looked a lot like Bourbon Street, to me at least. We had a Corona (classic gringos) on the deck of some booty dancing club and gazed out onto the streets of Mexico as "Booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere...I found you Miss Big Booty..." played from the DJ's larger than life speakers and hot girls in short skirts tried to pop and be sexy at 6:00 in the evening. After a drink we walked a little further down the street and found another bar that looked cool. It, too, was playing loud music, but it was Mexican music... so we figured we would check out something somewhat "authentic." The bouncer patted down Hoey before he let him in, which I thought was funny... anyway.. the place was cool... a lot of couples were on the dance floor... dancing to this Mexican music, after another Corona Hoey and I joined them and did our best to not look like idiots out there as we danced/watched highlights of the Germany game on the TV. I was so gitty because we were in Mexico... just like with the movie making thing... I kept thinking "How in the hell did we wake up in a convent this morning and now we're drinking Coronas in Mexico?" It was cool....After a few dances the sun was about to set and neither one of us wanted to be in Mexico after the sun went down because we don't speak Spanish and we didn't know how the whole "getting back into our country" thing worked.
As we were walking back to where we parked our car, Hoey asked some Mexican guy, "Which way is the USA?" HA! I laughed so hard because Hoey was dead serious. He didn't need to say "USA" Everyone there is just as aware of "San Diego" as we are of "Tijuana" saying "The USA" sounded really goofy. But all we had to do was show some guy our licenses and we were free to go walk across the border. Done and done.
After that we drove back to Anaheim to meet Brian Rome and this guy Michael (Hoey's convention friends) for dinner in "Downtown Disney." We ate at the Rainforest Cafe which is a cool restaurant that makes you feel like you're in a damn rainforest. It was cool, although I could have done without the gorillas that I thought we just decoration- randomly coming alive and making gorilla motions and sounds. Freaky. I like monkeys...alot...but if I look at them for too long, I get the eerie feeling that they are just humans dressed up in monkey suits... so I have to look away.... but then I can't look away for long because my curiosity takes me back to staring and wondering... could it really be someone dressed up???
After dinner, Hoey wanted to take me to two bars and a cafe that were in the movie Swingers. Swingers is his favorite movie and prior to coming to L.A. Hoey googled "Swingers movie L.A. locations" and found all the places in L.A. where scenes of the movie were shot. We went to one bar which was kind of like Pat O'Brian's in that there was a woman playing piano (there was a bar built around the piano...which was cool and we sat at it... so we were right in Elayne's face) there was alos a guy playing the drums another lady playing stand-up base. They play there every night and they were in the movie too.
We tried to go to the second bar, actually we tried to go there first, but they wouldn't let Hoey in because he had flip flops on. Hoey insisted that we try to get in again after we left the first bar. I thought that would be embarassing, but Hoey didn't give a shit. Again, the bouncer told Hoey that he couldn't get in because of his shoes, but they were about to close and we told him that we weren't form here...yadda yadda...we want to just check it out....so he let us go in. Right when we walked in the music stopped and everyone turned to us and some guy screamed "Look at that guy's shoes!"
That didn't happen.
After we checked out that bar we had some coffee at the 101 Cafe near Hollywood Blvd another place that was in the movie. It was a nice diner...dim lighting...cool booths to sit in...cool people to look at.
We got back to the convent at 4 am (oh yeah party time)... it was a pretty long damn day, but fun nonetheless.
Tomorrow I am going to Disney Land with Anna and Tuesday I am going back to Watsonville. I have almost forgotten all about little Watsonville.
I'm going to be very sad to leave the ol' convent. I have grown to love everything about this place, especially the women that live here. It has been a kick ass two weeks... fo' sho.
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